My full results went like this:
Friday, 8/23, 11DPO = 27
Sunday, 8/25, 13DPO = 39
Tuesday, 8/27, 15 DPO = 51
Friday, 8/30, 18DPO = 147
Sunday, 9/1, 20DPO = 403
You can definitely see that the first 3 tests did confirm I am pregnant, but my HCG wasn't doubling as it's "supposed" to. I read a lot last week about the varying ways women react to pregnancy and how we create HCG. I seemed to read mostly positive stories and ones were women said they started out slow but then picked up quickly. Ramin seemed to read only the negative stories and this caused him to be extremely cautious. This is one of the reasons I love Ramin, he helps balance me out and think realistically. However, when it comes to baby stuff such as this, I think having a positive attitude while also understanding the risks is the right way to think.
I remember at one point at the end of last week where I sort of gave in to Ramin's way of thinking and said during out conversation that we should "hope for the best but expect the worst". I kind of regret thinking that way now. Instead, I'd like to think of it more in terms of "hoping for the best and preparing for the worst" - I don't think it's right to EXPECT the worst, but I do think it's wise to prepare for it and be emotionally ready for it.
At any rate, Ramin found a cool graphing tool during this week that we've been using to help track our HCG progress. It's only limitation is that you can only input 2 test results. So....with the data of the last two tests, this is what our graph looks like now:
The visual graph I think helps to put Ramin's mind at ease that things are progressing normally. But, as he reminds me, our next milestone is getting to 12 weeks and out of the first trimester.
I do have tons of things I can't wait to document on this blog, one of them being my "birth plan". I think the number one piece of advice everyone keeps giving me is to just "be open to all possibilities". And I definitely plan to be, however, in my personal opinion I feel like our society has driven this fear of childbirth in our minds since the time of our own birth. The human body is capable of so many things, giving birth being one of it's greatest accomplishments.
Sometimes I wonder if we put limitations on ourselves through our own thinking. I definitely believe in the mind/body connection and that whatever you think does have an impact on your physiology. I heard many times during our trying-to-conceive journey to "just relax" and to "stop thinking about it" - don't those people realize that when they say these things that they're touting the mind/body connection? They clearly thought that my "stressing" over the situation was having an impact on my ability to get pregnant, Ramin included. So, the same logic must apply to giving birth. The more I fear and stress over it, the harder it surely will be. But the more I think of it in terms of a natural human ability and something to look forward to, the easier it will be for me to cope with the pain.
I've been reading this book:
It talks a lot about the mind/body connection and the entire first half of it is dedicated to many positive birth stories on The Farm in Tennessee. My friend Genevieve and I went to a special screening of a documentary that came out last year all about The Farm (see trailer below - watch out, there's birth nudity!). People may look at it and think "oh that's just hippy stuff"...well, I really believe in the wisdom of tribal knowledge. To me, birth is one of those things that is as natural as breathing....every mammal gives birth. Sure, there can arise complications and with wisdom you learn to identify those risks and mitigate them when necessary.
Anyway, I could go on and on about this now but I won't. I'll save it for later. I just ask for all of those telling me to "be open to possibilities", that you also be open to my choice to want to have a natural birth and try it the way that we were designed to do it, naturally (if I'm lucky enough to get dealt that hand).
No comments:
Post a Comment